So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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