I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
