How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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