Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
