Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
