North Korea, Best Korea!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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