Buhtt sex?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
