'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
