i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
