people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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