Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
