The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
