Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
