I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
