He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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