You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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