TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
