the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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