I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
