someone owes me an orgasm
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
