Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
