I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
