do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
