capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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