so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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