after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
