We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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