check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
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