those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
