I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
