Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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