Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
