the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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