I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
