Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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