who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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