she was so not down for the gang bang
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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