Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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