I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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