Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
