Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
