Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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