I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
