I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
