I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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