Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
