we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
