11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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