Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
