Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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