Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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