I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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